Date a girl who dreams of being
an actuary. When you meet her,
you must at least have an idea of what Actuarial Science is and what an actuary
does. Never give her the blank stare or
the look that spells “what-the-hell-is-what?”.
Do that and she won’t bother with anything but lazy answers on how it’s
related to Risk or Probability or Finance.
Either you must know something
about it and she will love explaining it to you to impress you, or, you know
enough about it to already be impressed by her.
The most basic things you
need to be acquainted with beforehand: 1) her work doesn’t have anything to do
with birds, or fish, or horses, or any type of animal for that matter; 2) the
professionals are called actuaries, not actuarians,
and most certainly not actuarial
scientists; 3) there is 90% chance
that she was a Math major, 8% a Statistics major, the remaining 2% an Economics
major; 4) her ultimate career goal is to pursue a local or international Fellowship
designation; 5) she would most likely be working at an insurance company, a
retirement consulting firm, or an HMO. With
the information she’ll be giving you, never look intimidated (it’s just a
standard definition she memorized) – always look interested. (Yes, even if
you’re not, you law student you, because FYI she studies just as much as you do).
When you decide to pursue
her and eventually she says yes, you would also have to say YES to that baggage
of actuarial exams she’s carrying with her, which will haunt you for at least the next five years of your
relationship. You will be hearing about those exams from this point of your
life moving forward. Embrace those exams
with open arms. Keep track of what exam
she’s taking and know how many there are left to take, because for sure you
will find yourself counting down. Train
yourself now. Exams, exams, exams, EXAMS.
You won’t be able to get enough of that word.
It will seem like it will go on forever.
Your dates and travels and
plans will revolve around the schedule of her next EXAM, the big red circle on
her calendar. Don’t you ever
complain. Her commitment is your
commitment too. You’re going to have to be involved. Encourage her to start studying early. Even if she doesn’t want to, it’s your
responsibility to pressure, I mean, remind her.
Few months before the exam, accept the fact that she will be buried in
her books and sample problems and heaps of scratch paper for all of her free
time. If she’s the type who wants to be
left alone studying, then your dates will have to be deferred for the time
being. Don’t worry, it never means she
doesn’t want to be with you, it’s just that she just needs to focus all her
time and energy on this thing for now. Just
make sure she takes a break and surprise her with, I dunno, more coffee to
drink or a box of newly sharpened pencils.
On the other hand, if she’s the type who wants company while studying,
be with her. Stay with her for as long
as she wants you there. Best case is
that you’re also studying for your MBA or Bar Exam or Boards too. Don’t be jealous of that BA II Plus
calculator she’s carrying around with her 24/7 – sometimes it will seem like
she loves it more than she loves you, but don’t worry, she will also hate it
more than she hates you. Don’t be
jealous of that Broverman guy she’s always talking about, or that other man (Bowels?),
or the weird one Polkinghorn (was that a dude or a dinosaur?). Those guys may be smarter than you, but trust me, they
don’t love her like you do.
Few days before the exam,
you’re going to have to let her be. Do
NOT “make kulit” about ANYTHING ELSE THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS! Appease her if she’s panicking, but not too
much for her to slack off. (By the way, as
this applies to actuarial guys too, girlfriends just bear with them guys who
grow out their hair and beard until the exam.) Give her some space; whisper a prayer for her; send her a good luck card
– do what you have to do.
After the exam, there’s
going to be an ineffable breathing-out experience that is comparable to absolutely
nothing. But brace yourself. If she found it too hard, she will rant. Boy will she rant. Even cry her heart out. Or whatever it is she
does best when she’s upset. (For the girlfriends again, some guys will shave
their head off after an exam. Dunno what it is about men and their hair.) On the other hand, even if she found it
manageable, she’d still be worrying endlessly – she can never be too complacent
after an actuarial exam. But one thing’s
for sure – when results are out (could be right after the exam or two months after),
you’re going to have to go out. Fail,
your treat; pass, her treat. And either
way it’s going to be a good goddamn treat, as if it were your golden
anniversary.
And that whole cycle will
repeat itself again before you can even say the word “vacatio--“.
More often than not, she’d
aim to get the exams over with before getting married. So if you want to marry her, encourage her to
finish the exams right away. Even if it
takes her 5 re-takes on one exam, encourage her still. Sometimes she will lose
hope, and you will have to keep encouraging her. For as long as she studies hard enough, she
will make it. She. Will. Pass. And you
have to make her believe that.
If it’s not her exams she’s
complaining about, it’s going to be about her work. There will be times that her work will sap out her energy so make sure you won’t be an added burden. You’re going to have to be a refreshing
presence in her life. After some time,
her ultimate dream might just evolve into becoming a housewife, or just simply retiring
early. You’re lucky if she still wants
to be a consultant. So, in any case,
you’d better step up in your own career. They say some of the best combinations are actuaries
and doctors, or actuaries and lawyers, because actuaries earn the big bucks
earlier and the doctor/lawyer later on. But
anyway, whatever it is you do, make sure it will earn enough for both of you in
the case that she decides one day to quit and do the more enjoyable things in
life, like, say, not thinking.
So, date a girl who dreams
of being an actuary. If she becomes
one, she’ll be one out of less than a hundred in this country. How many girls can you find who chooses such
a career out of love for money Math?
And it’s not nerdy, it’s effin’ hot!
The moment you meet her, she’s already a rare find. The long journey on those exams will be worth
it, especially with you by her side.
* Word count of EXAM in this
write-up: 24
